


Pategou

by samsarapine



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Blanket Permission, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-14
Updated: 2010-03-14
Packaged: 2017-10-07 23:58:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samsarapine/pseuds/samsarapine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gojyo sits pategou for a child he never knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pategou

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/saiyuki_time/profile)[**saiyuki_time**](http://community.livejournal.com/saiyuki_time/) challenge 60: "Comfort Food." Time allowed: 60 minutes. Time taken: 55 minutes. Concrit very welcome.

  
  
  
**Entry tags:** |   
[challenge: saiyuki_time](http://samsarapine.livejournal.com/tag/challenge:%20saiyuki_time), [fic](http://samsarapine.livejournal.com/tag/fic), [gojyo](http://samsarapine.livejournal.com/tag/gojyo), [r](http://samsarapine.livejournal.com/tag/r), [saiyuki](http://samsarapine.livejournal.com/tag/saiyuki)  
  
---|---  
  
_**Fic: "Pategou", Saiyuki, Gojyo, R (for disturbing content)**_  
**Title:** Pategou  
**Author:** [](http://samsarapine.livejournal.com/profile)[**samsarapine**](http://samsarapine.livejournal.com/)  
**Rating:** R  
**Character:** Gojyo  
**Warnings/Spoilers:** Youkai death rituals involving cannibalism. Not graphic, but not glossed-over, either, just to warn you.  
**Summary:** Gojyo sits pategou for a child he never knew.  
**Word Count:** About 1,300  
**Notes:** Written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/saiyuki_time/profile)[**saiyuki_time**](http://community.livejournal.com/saiyuki_time/) challenge 60: "Comfort Food." Time allowed: 60 minutes. Time taken: 55 minutes.

****

Pategou

 

Gojyo watched as Sanzo, Goku and Hakkai wandered through the abandoned youkai camp. Everything was laid out as if the youkai had just stepped away for a minute, maybe to take a piss or have a cigarette, and were planning to come back and pour a cup of coffee or take out a deck of cards or pop open a beer or two.

"It must be the camp of the youkai we met earlier," Hakkai said.

Sanzo grunted. "See if there's any supplies we can salvage." He frowned at the pot hanging over the fire. "What the fuck is that? It smells disgusting."

"Pategou," Gojyo said.

"Pategou?" Goku perked up. "Is it good? What's in it?"

Gojyo shrugged and looked away. "Fish. Vegetables. Some herbs n' stuff." The heart of a dead youkai child.

Hakkai glanced over at him; Gojyo shifted and crossed his arms, not meeting Hakkai's gaze. "I thought pategou was a folk legend," Hakkai said.

"Eh, you know. Something strange that youkai like, make up stories about it, scare the kiddies," Gojyo said. He leaned against a tree. "No big deal. Hey, monkey, get away from it," he added sharply as Goku approached the pot, eyes huge, almost visibly salivating.

"But it smells good!"

"It smells like shit." Sanzo grabbed Goku and pushed him towards one of the tents. "Look for first aid supplies, moron. We need those more than some fucking youkai stew."

"I'll help," Hakkai volunteered after a moment. Gojyo could feel his eyes weighing and assessing Gojyo's discomfort, could almost hear the sharp mind cataloguing Gojyo's actions for future follow through. Then Hakkai ducked under the tent flap and Gojyo could hear him and Goku rummaging through the sleeping gear.

Sanzo walked around the camp again, ending up near Gojyo. He took his cigarettes out of his sleeve, shook one out, stowed the pack again and lit up. Gojyo looked away; for the first time in memory, the smell of the smoke made him feel queasy.

"What happens if no one eats it?"

Gojyo's breath caught. "I don't know what you mean," he lied.

"The pategou. What happens if no one eats it?" When Gojyo remained silent, Sanzo cursed under his breath. "I know what it is, asshole. A kid died. They were putting his soul to rest. So what happens if no one eats it?"

Gojyo stared at the pot. "The kid's soul dies," he finally said. "He disappears. It'll be like he never existed, except worse, because he did but no one was there to help him. Kids' souls aren't strong enough to be able to survive the journey to the afterlife without help."

Sanzo grunted and smoked.

"His life is in there." Gojyo kept his voice low, so he could almost pretend to himself that the other man couldn't hear what he said. "The kind of food he liked, the memories the others had of him, the blood of the people he loved… Or so they say." He pushed off the tree and stretched, trying to look nonchalant but fully aware that Sanzo saw through the charade, the fucking superior not-Buddhist bastard. "A load of superstitious shit, if you ask me. I'll go help the others."

"So you're going to leave him to die?"

Anger swelled up so quickly in Gojyo's throat that he didn't even realise he'd pinned Sanzo to the tree until his fist was buried in Sanzo's robes and his face was inches away. "What the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm sure as fuck not gonna let Goku stuff his face with it," he snarled.

Sanzo struck his hand away and straightened his robes. "Asshole."

"I'm right," Gojyo said, shaking. "I'm fucking right and you know it."

Sanzo looked away and rolled his eyes, taking another hit of his cigarette. "Have you ever eaten pategou?" he asked, blowing smoke and sounding bored.

"Once." One of Jien's friends, stupid kid, playing in the dark, running, tripped and broke his goddam neck. Jien had asked Gojyo to come to the ceremony, and their mum had gone because everyone was going, so Gojyo had trailed along behind them, trying to look tough. He'd watched as Jien had cut his hand and let a few drops of blood fall into the pot, as Jien had closed his eyes and given memories, as Jien accepted the cup of stew ladled from the pot and given to him, as Jien had eaten, tears running down his face.

His mother had looked so proud of Jien's gift to the pategou, while Gojyo had hidden in the shadows and wondered if anyone would sit pategou for him if he died before he was grown up.

"Fuck this," Gojyo said. "Fuck it to hell." He glared at Sanzo, actively hating him, wanting to do nothing more but to beat the smug bastard's face until it was nothing but a mass of dead blood and bone.

Instead he whirled and made his way to the campfire. He stopped beside the pot and stared down at it, then, before he lost his nerve, he knelt in the dirt, took out his knife and stabbed himself in the hand.

Blood welled in the wound. Gojyo stared at it for a moment and then slowly raised his hand over the pot. A drop, two, three fell into the thick stock. Chest tight and feeling like a fucking fool, Gojyo gave his memories of the youkai he'd killed that day, just in case any of them had been related to the dead kid. Then he grabbed a cup sitting nearby, emptied out the cold coffee that was still sitting in it, and dunked it into the stew.

This pategou tasted nothing like the one he remembered from his childhood, which had tasted rich and honest. This tasted raw, and angry, and so full of blood that Gojyo reckoned the kid must have meant a lot to a lot of people.

He choked it down. His soul probably wasn't strong enough to help the kid's soul survive, but he was damned if he wasn't going to do his best to give the kid a fighting chance.

"Hey! Gojyo's eatin'! I want some, too!"

Gojyo heard Goku running towards the fire and threw his arm out in a panic, sweeping the pot off its hook and sending the contents splashing all over himself and the fire and the ground – he bit the inside of his mouth, hard, to keep the tears from falling as he froze, horrified by what he'd done.

Sodding, fucking hell. He couldn't have fucked things up more if he'd deliberately tried to. He stared at the mess on the ground, splattered like the blood had splattered when they'd fought the youkai, like the blood that splattered every time they fought youkai…

Hakkai's cool presence was at his side in a moment. "You've burned yourself." Healing qi flowed from his hands over Gojyo's red and blistered skin, until the burns were smooth and no one could have told that Gojyo had just dashed a kid's soul into the dirt.

"Thanks," he said gruffly, still afraid that he'd lose it. Hakkai's hand tightened on his shoulder, then Hakkai was soothing a furious Goku and guiding him away towards jeep, promising him whatever the fuck he needed to in order to keep the goddam brat from coming back.

Gojyo heard Sanzo approach and stop just behind him. Neither said a word, until Gojyo's nerves were screaming.

"Say something, you bastard," he finally snarled.

"Tch."

Sanzo sat next to him. He was wearing his crown, even though he looked royally pissed. He folded his hands and closed his eyes.

Then Sanzo began to chant.

Gojyo sat unmoving, still covered in pategou. The Maten sutra on Sanzo's shoulders whispered secrets as the sun sank below the horizon in front of them.

Maybe it would be enough to get the kid to the afterlife.

Gojyo hoped so.


End file.
